Married With Kids
by Raberba girl
Summary: "This is all your fault, Dad! Just my luck that I've got All Hanshin Kyojin for parents!"


Married With Kids

A Love*Com (Lovely Complex) fanfic by Raberba girl

Summary: "This is all your fault, Dad! Just my luck that I've got All Hanshin Kyojin for parents!"

**A/N: "Niisan" means "older brother."**

o.o.o

"This is all your fault, Dad!"

"Huh? How is _what_ my fault? And why?"

"Because you're a little shrimp, that's why!"

"Don't call your father a shrimp!"

"A shrimp's a shrimp, no matter who calls him that!"

"Yeah, well, right back at you, shrimp!"

Ôtani Risa laughed and bent down to wrap one arm around her husband's neck and the other arm around her oldest son's. "Speaking of comedy acts, can't you two lay off for Takashi's first day of high school, at least? Aki, your father and I didn't go to the trouble of driving you to your first day of school just to get involved in _more arguments_."

Atsushi seemed to calm down, but Aki only looked madder than ever. "You think we're joking around? I'm serious, this is really ticking me off!"

Atsushi, finding himself in a prime position to do so, quickly kissed his wife's cheek before wriggling out of her grasp. "What, you think your mom and I went through our All Hanshin Kyojin routine back then just for fun?" he said to Aki.

"Why else would two idiots like you get together? Geez, you must have been the most ridiculous-looking couple in the world!"

"We were," Atsushi grumbled. "Still are."

Risa added cheerfully, "But our love is so pure and passionate that we don't care a bit!"

"Speak for yourself, jumbo woman!" Atsushi retorted.

As they continued to bicker, Takashi spoke up curiously. "Niisan, why are you so mad at Dad, anyway? He didn't do anything."

"He did so! He gave me midget genes! And _you_," he accused, now pointing at his mother, "gave jumbo genes to my _younger_ brother. Now he's gonna be towering over me at school, too, where everyone can _see_. It's not fair, you guys got us mixed up!"

"Deal with it," Atsushi snapped, putting a hand on Aki's shoulder and shoving him away from the car. "Hurry up and show Takashi where to go. You don't want your own brother to be late on his first day."

"Yeah, whatever."

Atsushi and Risa stood for a while, affectionately watching as their sons walked across the school courtyard. Risa would have liked it if they could have stood with their arms around each other, but Atsushi _hated_ doing that kind of thing in public, since it emphasized their height difference even more than usual. So instead, she leaned her arm on the top of his head as if she had found the perfect prop to rest on.

"Oi, you lookin' to pick a fight?" her husband growled, trying to shake her off.

"Sure, as long as we make up afterwards," she laughed.

Atsushi blushed a little. Risa often told him that the things he did to make up to her made the original fights worth it. "Yeah, whatever. Just get in the car, both of us are gonna be late if this keeps up."

"And this is anything new?"

Atsushi opened the car's passenger door for his wife and helped her inside - he almost always did this, since it enabled him to lean down and kiss her before shutting the door, in a way that didn't look stupid. Then he went around to get behind the wheel, glad for the chance to have a few minutes alone with Risa, without the kids' bickering, before dropping her off at work.

o.o.o.o.o

That night, the Ôtani family met up with the Nakaos and the Suzukis for dinner, as was their tradition whenever one of the kids had a birthday. This time, it was Nakao and Nobuko's daughter Ayame, who wasted no time in bossing her friends to their seats and playing an efficient but rather forceful hostess. "Suzuki-kun, you sit here next to Takashi-kun, and Riku-chan beside Niisan. Aki-kun, you're here with Kimi-chan because the both of you are so short..."

"What the heck? Don't call me short!"

"Well, we _are_ short, Aki-kun," Kimiko pointed out.

"Shut up! I'll sit where I want!"

Atsushi sighed and Risa shook her head, smiling. The two of them left the kids going at it and went to greet their old friends. "Nobu-chan, Chiharu-chan! Geez, it's been ages!"

"Yo, Nakao, Suzuki. What's up?"

Nakao laughed. "You sound like a kid, Ôtani. What guy pushing forty still says 'What's up?'"

"Argh, lay off!"

Nobu and Chiharu laughed. "Still as energetic as ever, I see," Chiharu said fondly.

"Yup!" Risa wrapped her arms around her husband, beaming. "I swear, sometimes I can barely keep up with this guy."

"As if! What are you, an old grandma?" Atsushi struggled to get free. "Cut it out, you're making us look stupid again!"

"Don't I just have the cutest little husband ever?" Risa giggled teasingly, squeezing tighter.

"I swear, you are _dust_! And you jerks stop laughing!" Atsushi yelled at his friends, most of whom were unsuccessfully trying to hide their amusement.

"Ah, that routine never gets old," Nakao sighed in contentment.

"Risa! Did you catch another space alien?" Everyone turned to face the newcomers heading toward them, a good-looking couple with a tall girl following in their wake.

"Haruka!" Risa exclaimed.

"You!" Atsushi growled at the same time.

"Glad you could make it!" Nobu called, moving to greet Haruka and his family. "Looks like everyone's here."

"Why does everyone keep inviting _him_?" Atsushi grumbled, exchanging glares with his longtime nemesis.

"Shut up, Dad!" Aki hissed. He took an uncertain, jerky step forward, his eyes strangely intense. "Fukagawa-san...hi."

Haruka's daughter, Haruhi, gave him a shy smile in response. "Hello, Ôtani-kun. It's good to see you again."

Aki looked very happy in the split second between Haruhi's greeting and his friends' gleeful teasing. "I'm sure Aki-kun's _really_ happy to see you, too, Haru-chan!"

"Yeah, you can tell by the adorable way he's blushing."

"Go for it, Aki!"

"Yeah, catch her when she goes to 'find the ladies' room'! No one will see you kissing behind all the potted plants over there."

"All of you, _shut up_!" Aki shrieked, his face (and Haruhi's) now beet-red.

Atsushi sighed and draped an arm around the boy's shoulders. "Son," he intoned wisely, "trust me, overreacting just encourages them."

"Yeah, and you know that from personal experience, right, midget?" Haruka smirked.

"Whatdja call me?" Atsushi shrieked.

"Like father, like son," Nobu snickered, elbowing him in the ribs.

"Hey," her daughter spoke up meaningfully, "the poor waitress has been trying to take our orders for, like, five minutes now. You adults can chat while you're sitting down, right?"

It was a lively gathering, and everyone sat around talking long after the dessert plates had been cleared away. Eventually, they all slowly migrated outside, where they stood around and talked even longer.

Then it was time for pictures. The birthday girl was photographed with her family and then by herself, with her friends, with all the girls, with all the boys, and so on. "I feel like a queen," Ayame laughed after her mother had gotten a shot of her being fawned over by all the boys.

"Who'd want to fawn over _you_?" Aki retorted, unceremoniously dropping the foot that he had been pretending to kiss just moments before.

"_I_ would," Suzuki Ryou chuckled with a mischievous glint in his eye. He swept up Ayame into his arms and kissed her passionately, as she shrieked with laughter and their friends cheered them on, and Suzuki and Chiharu blushed hugely at their son's typical un-shy behavior.

"How cute!" Nobu laughed.

"Hey, let's get shots of all the couples now!" Risa suggested enthusiastically.

"What? No!" Atsushi burst out, guessing correctly how this would end.

"Are you kidding? Let's do it!" Haruka said eagerly. "We _have_ to get a picture of us together, Risa!"

"Uh..."

He took one of her hands in both of his and gazed deeply into her eyes. "It would mean so much to me," he murmured throatily. "You know I've never stopped loving you, Risa."

"Hey!" Atsushi yelled, shoving his way between them. "Quit saying stupid stuff like that to my wife! And in case you forgot, _your_ wife is standing right next to you!"

"It's okay, Ôtani-kun," Fukagawa Ritsuko laughed, slapping her husband so hard on the back that he yelped in pain. "Haru-chan knows perfectly well that I only married him for his money."

"To each her own," Nobu muttered. She thrust her camera into Chiharu's hands. "Chiharu-chan, snap a few of me and my darling!" After Nakao and Nobu had posed together, Haruka hauled Risa in place and posed happily with his arms around her, as she smiled awkwardly. Then Ritsuko laughingly dragged the furious-looking Atsushi into a pose, then Suzuki and Chiharu shyly stood for their picture, and then...

"No way," Atsushi growled, backed up against the wall by his friends like a cornered cat.

"Atsushi!" Risa protested. "Everyone else did a photo! We _have_ to do one, too!"

"No, we _don't_!"

"What kind of man are you?" Nobu demanded. "You let your rival get photographed being all mushy with your wife, and then you can't even stand to be in the same shot with her?"

"Maybe you should just give up Risa-san to Fukagawa after all," Nakao teased.

"I SWEAR, YOU ARE _DUST_!"

"Daddy," Riku suggested shyly, "what if Mom picks you up so that it looks like you're taller than her when you kiss?"

For a moment, Atsushi seemed to be actually speechless with horror. "...No...freaking..._way_-! HEY! Put me DOWN!"

A delighted Risa had swept up her husband so that he was suddenly looking down at her as his feet dangled far above the ground. "Atsushi, _please_?" Risa begged. "Just this once?"

"N...No!" he choked, flushed scarlet and flustered at the sight of her earnest expression.

In a rare occurrence, Risa buried her face in her husband's chest. "Atsushi..._please_," she whispered. "The only picture I have of you kissing me is our _wedding_ photo, and you won't even let me display it anywhere."

After a moment, Atsushi hid his face against her shoulder, trying hard to ignore the many expectant stares boring into his back from everyone else. "Risa," he whispered back. "I feel so _stupid_."

"...Okay."

When he raised his head, he found Risa looking so forlorn that he suddenly felt like his heart was being squished. "Nakao," he growled after a moment, and looked over at his friend, feeling like his face was about to burn off from embarrassment. "Just take one picture, a _close-up_."

Risa gasped, and her face lit up. "Atsushi? _Really_?"

"I am totally serious, don't you _dare_ go any lower than the elbows!" Atsushi continued fiercely, ignoring her.

"No problem," Nakao agreed readily, even as he adjusted the camera to get a full-length shot.

Everyone cheered as Atsushi and Risa kissed, looking as sweet and romantic from the waist up as they did ridiculous from the waist down.

"I swear," Aki muttered, turning away in utter embarrassment, "my parents are total _idiots_."

"I don't think so," Haruhi ventured thoughtfully. "You can tell how much they love each other - it's really sweet to watch."

"You think so?" Aki mumbled, smiling shyly at her like an idiot and not really sure what he was saying.

Haruhi smiled back, promptly making his heart melt. "Yes."

o.o.o.o.o

A few days later, Aki walked into the kitchen to be greeted by the sight of his thirteen-year-old sister hoisting up his father, in order for Atsushi to be able to reach something from a high cabinet. "What are you _doing_?" Aki screeched.

"Gah!" Atsushi nearly dropped the can he had just grasped.

"Oh, welcome back, Niisan," Riku greeted mildly.

"Riku, put me _down_!" Atsushi yelped frantically.

"But you just asked me to pick you up," Riku said in confusion, lowering him obligingly.

"Yeah," Atsushi ground out through a strained smile. "Thanks, sweetie."

"Dad," Aki snarled, "don't ever make me witness something that sickening again."

"I thought you were _gone_, twerp!"

"Well, I came _back_, obviously! I picked up the photos from Ayame-san's birthday." Aki threw the package of photos on the kitchen table. "What were you _doing_, anyway? We have a stepstool, you know!"

"Well, I couldn't _find_ it," Atsushi snapped.

Aki shook his head in disgust. "Geez, you're such an id-" He broke off when he suddenly remembered that he himself had taken the stepstool earlier that morning to get something from the garage, and had forgotten to put it back. "Why didn't you just have Riku get it for you so she wouldn't have to pick you up?" he complained, glancing at the kitchen chairs. As per their mother's usual cleaning habits, there was so much junk piled on all the flat surfaces that it would have been quicker for his father to ask Riku to pick him up than to try to shift things around for a clear chair to stand on.

"Argh! That's what bugs me about your mom, always grabbing things for me like I'm not perfectly capable of doing it myself!"

"But you're not," Aki pointed out.

"You want me to ground you?" Atsushi threatened.

"Just try it," Aki challenged, making the dead fish face that annoyed his father so much. "Thanks to _you_, I'm so tiny I could just slip out of the house through the cracks."

"Wipe that butt-ugly look off your face!"

"Look, Daddy," Riku spoke up, going through the photos. "These pictures came out really well."

Their argument forgotten, Atsushi and Aki bent over the photos interestedly.

"Hey, here's the one of Mom and Mr. Fukagawa," Aki said, holding it up.

"Throw that one away," Atsushi snapped.

"Oh no, don't!" Riku exclaimed. "It's so cute!"

"Yeah, Mom and Mr. Fukagawa make a really good-looking couple," Aki said snidely.

"Yep, just as good as you and his daughter," Atsushi fired back.

Aki reeled backward as if he had been shot. "Wh-What're you _talking_ about?" he gasped. "Fukagawa-san is a giant- no _way_ I'd ever go out with her!"

Atsushi was not listening - he had just discovered the photo of himself and Risa. "AAAAAGGHH!" he screamed. "NAKAO, I'LL _KILL_ YOU!"

Riku, alarmed, forgot to try to keep the picture away from her father when he snatched at it. Luckily, Aki was quicker, and he swiped up the photo first. "AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" In the photograph, Risa held Atsushi in her arms, face tilted up and eyes closed as he held her head and kissed her. It was his awkwardly dangling feet that ruined the otherwise very romantic effect.

"Scissors!" Atsushi gasped frantically, lunging at the drawer where they were kept. "Gotta crop it before Risa sees...!"

"No way, Dad!" Aki yelped. "Riku, quick, hide it up really high in a cabinet where he can't get at it!"

"O-Okay."

"Noooooooo...!"

o.o.o.o.o

The next day, Aki paused on his way out the door to blow a kiss to the photograph on the highest living room shelf. Risa had rescued it fully intact and had put it up where her husband could not reach, right next to the photo of Atsushi as a high schooler dressed up in a frilly cheerleader's uniform. "Sweet revenge," Aki cackled. Then he continued on to school.

He got a half-welcome shock in homeroom. A new student had transferred to their school: Fukagawa Haruhi.

"Aki-kun," Ayame hissed at him, grinning, "shut your mouth, drool's trickling out of it."

"Shut up, it's not!" Then he reached up to wipe his mouth and found that she was right.

Haruhi ate lunch with them, sitting quietly next to Aki as Takashi and Ayame's brother Yûji argued good-naturedly about their favorite pop artists, and Ryou and Ayame exhibited way too much PDA than Aki wanted to deal with during lunch. "Give it a _rest_, guys."

"Why should we?" Ayame huffed.

"Yeah," Ryou grinned. "We shouldn't have to tone it down just to make you feel better."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

Ryou waggled a finger teasingly. "You know. About you being so obsessed with your own shrimpiness that you won't tell Haru-chan that you love her."

"WHAT?" Aki cried, turning tomato-colored. He cast a panicked glance at Haruhi and found that her face was the same color. "You guys are insane, I could care less about her!"

"Niisan," Takashi said reproachfully, "that was mean."

"Huh?"

"Please excuse me," Haruhi murmured. She rose and quickly gathered her things, her long bangs hiding her face, then hurried from the cafeteria. Aki stared after her, feeling shaky.

o.o.o.o.o

"Wake up, Aki-chan! Are you dreaming?"

"Don't call me 'chan,'" Aki mumbled.

"Are you okay, Niisan?" Takashi asked in concern. "You haven't said anything all night."

Aki picked at the food on his plate, realizing for the first time that he had not eaten much of it. "Just tired," he mumbled.

"What, you have a fever or something?" Atsushi asked, laying the back of his hand against his son's forehead.

"No, I don't have a fever! I'm just tired, that's all."

"Hmph, just asking," Atsushi grumbled, going back to his food.

A little while later, during a lull in the conversation, Aki asked suddenly, "Dad? Say you're a short guy - I mean, a short guy in general - and you like some girl who's taller than you...I mean, what do you _do_ about that? How would you ask her out in a way that doesn't make you look totally dumb?"

Atsushi snorted. "Don't ask _me_. Your mom was the one chasing me around 'til I finally just said Yes to shut her up. _I've_ never asked out any jumbo girls."

"Hmph!" Risa snorted, reaching out to ruffle his hair because she knew how much he hated that. "I only chased you around because you were too stupid to realize how much you already adored me."

"As if!"

"Oh, just forget it!" Aki cried. "I should've known better than to get any real advice from All Hanshin Kyojin."

"Hey!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

o.o.o.o.o

"...Fukagawa-san, I-I've liked you for a...for a really long time. I know I'm...kinda short and all, but I mean, it's not like it hasn't been done before...um...will you, uh, go out with me?"

For a moment, Haruhi's face seemed to light up, and Aki's heart began to beat quickly in his chest as he thought that she might, incredibly, miraculously, say yes. Then her face fell, and his heart fell with it.

"Oh...Ôtani-kun, I-I..."

Aki's face burned, and he wished that the floor would open up and swallow him. "Hey, it's fine, I understand. I mean, you're so- you're like a model, all tall and gorgeous, you don't need a little shrimp like me dragging you down." He was about to turn away, but Haruhi was crying by then.

"Oh, Ôtani-kun!" she sobbed helplessly, and ran from the room.

"Tch." Aki shakily ran a hand through his hair, scowling down at the ground as he tried to hold back tears. "Stupid jumbo girls, who needs 'em..."

o.o.o.o.o

"...Aki-chan?"

"Don't call me 'chan,'" he mumbled into his pillow.

Risa crept cautiously into the room. "Aki, dinner's ready. Aren't you going to come down?"

"No. I'm sick."

Risa sat down on the edge of his bed and tried to feel his forehead.

Aki covered it with his hands and rolled away from her. "Will you cut it out? It's not a fever, okay! Just leave me alone."

"Did something happen at school today?" she asked sympathetically.

"NO!" he yelled, so vehemently that she knew she had gotten it right.

"Is it about Haru-chan, maybe?"

"For crying out loud, will everyone just get off my back about Fukagawa? I don't care about her. I hate her!"

"...She rejected you, huh."

"What? Who said she rejected me?"

She smiled. "You did."

"Huh? _When_?"

She leaned over to kiss his cheek; he immediately scrubbed it away. "I can tell, kiddo."

Aki buried his face in his pillow again and punched the mattress. "I hate Dad, I _hate_ him...it's his fault I'm like this..."

Risa rubbed his back soothingly. "Poor Atchan. I know how much it hurts..." She smiled sadly. "Maybe I'm a little bit of a masochist, because I kept going back for more."

"Huh?"

Atsushi leaned into the room, knocking on the frame. "Oi, what's the holdup?"

"Atchan is sick," Risa explained, adding matter-of-factly, "He has a broken heart."

"I do NOT!" Aki yelled.

Atsushi swore under his breath. "She rejected you, huh."

Aki thrashed upright and glared at his parents through a film of unshed tears. "I swear, I'm gonna start punching people if you guys keep this up!"

Atsushi walked over to stand by Aki's bed. "Look, it happens, okay? Even nice, super-sweet girls can toss your heart in the grinder when they suddenly decide you're not good enough for them."

"_I_ never did that to you," Risa said self-righteously.

"Nope. You just got bored when I was studying for college entrance exams and went cheating behind my back with that other shrimp."

"_What_?" Aki gasped.

"I did _not_!" Risa exclaimed. "We just went to a concert, it wasn't even a real date or anything!"

"You also kissed him, and went riding with him around town, and kept being nice to him instead of telling him to go to h-"

"_Mom_? You _cheated_ on _Dad_?"

"Look, now you're corrupting the children with lies," Risa huffed, hugging Aki to her chest as if he was three years old again.

"Excuse me, which one of those was a lie?" Atsushi asked pleasantly.

"I can't _believe_ you!" Aki howled, shoving away. "You jumbo women are all the same!"

Atsushi blinked. "Geez, Aki, calm down. I was just kidding."

"...You were?"

"Well," Atsushi amended mock-thoughtfully, "she really did do all those things back then, but," he smiled at her, "I forgave her a loooong time ago."

"Yeah, you _better_ have," Risa said haughtily, pulling him down to sit beside her. "After all the blood, sweat and tears that went into catching you, no way I was gonna lose you again."

"Catching me? What am I, a real shrimp?"

"Yeah. Yum," she said mischievously, nibbling on his ear.

"Argh, stop!" Aki yelled.

"Whatever." Atsushi leaned around Risa to look at his son. "So, Aki - are you gonna pick up the pieces and move on with your life, or you gonna keep hiding and sulking in here?"

"You think it's _easy_, being rejected to your face because you're short?" Aki said in exasperation.

"Nope," his parents immediately answered in unison. They looked at each other and smiled.

"It really sucks," Risa told her husband fondly.

"Totally."

"Yeah?" Aki grumbled. "Then maybe you'll understand why I wanna lie in bed all day and never go to school again."

Atsushi frowned and reached over to smack Aki upside the head. "What're you whining about? Are you really such a weakling that one lousy rejection sends you scampering off with your tail between your legs?"

"What if I am?" Aki shouted angrily, digging his fingers into the bedspread.

"Then you're no son of Ôtani Risa," Atsushi said in disgust. "Do you know how hard your mother worked to win over the guy she loved?"

"Really hard," Risa put in.

"Yeah, it's difficult to flash your inner boobies when your figurative chest is flat as a washboard...not to mention your real one, too."

Risa smacked him.

"My ears! My ears are bleeding!" Aki screamed.

"Anyway! Your mom refused to give up, no matter what! Even when the guy she loved rejected her to her face-"

"And that was _after_ he heard my heartfelt love confession and _laughed it off like an idiot_..."

"Even when the guy she liked wouldn't take her Valentine's chocolate-"

"Twice."

"I took it the second time."

"Only because I practically crammed it down your throat."

"Yeah, and I've _still_ got the scar."

"Enough with the comedy act. I get the point," Aki fumed. "I just..." He glared up at his parents through his bangs. "Is it really worth it?"

"What, you think finding true love isn't worth some effort and heartbreak?" Risa said indignantly.

"No. I mean...is it really worth it, trying to chase after some jumbo girl when the best case scenario would be to end up like _you_?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Atsushi said indignantly.

"Oh, come on, _look_ at you guys!" Aki cried in exasperation. "You're idiots! You look weird together! All you do is fight! Dad, you may be a little lovey-dovey when you're home, but everywhere else you're so embarrassed to be seen with Mom that you barely even stand close to her! Your kids are miserable - my _little brother and sister are taller than me_! How can you say you're _happy_?"

Atsushi and Risa stared at him. "Aki," she said softly.

Atsushi sighed. Then he took Risa's hand, slid over into her lap, and smiled. "All part of the act," he said with a wink. "You're the one who keeps calling us a comedy duo, remember? What's the fun in a shorty like me being married to this sexy giant here if we can't play it for laughs?" He leaned back, tilted his head up, and guided Risa's face down so she could kiss him.

_'Huh?'_ Risa thought, staring into her husband's eyes in confusion. _'That's not true at all!'_

_'Shut up, he doesn't need to know that. You taste good, by the way.'_

_'Thanks.'_

Oblivious to his parents' silent conversation, Aki hurriedly averted his eyes and rested his chin on his knees. "Yeah, I guess you're right..."

o.o.o.o.o

"Here."

Haruhi stared up at Aki in surprise. He had walked through the classroom door with a bunch of flowers, marched straight up to her desk, and was now practically holding them in her face. "Ô-Ôtani-kun?"

"I know you don't want to date a shrimp," he said brusquely, "but that doesn't change my feelings, Fukagawa-san."

"Ôtani-kun," she whispered, her eyes filling up with tears even though she looked weirdly happy. He had to be reading her wrong.

"It's fine that you don't want to date me, I understand. But unless you totally hate me or something...and I don't _think_ you do...then I'm gonna do my best to show you that I- that I think it could work between us, even if I _am_ shorter than you."

"Oh, Ôtani-kun," she said, looking flustered as she stared at the flowers. "I don't care about your height, that isn't the problem at all."

"Huh? Then what _is_?" he exclaimed in astonishment.

Haruhi gazed up at him sorrowfully, the deep pools of her eyes threatening to capture his heart all over again. "It's...it's my father. He doesn't really want me...talking to you. I had to promise him that I wouldn't before he let me come to this school."

"Huh?" Unfortunately, Aki did not get any further explanation, since the homeroom teacher had come in and was now trying to start class. "Your father...?"

o.o.o.o.o

"What? I can't believe it!"

"That PUNK!"

"Thanks for your support," Aki mumbled into the kitchen table, upon which he had rested his face after telling his parents about what had happened.

"That guy thinks his daughter is too good for my shrimpy son?" Atsushi raged.

"Hey!" Aki yelled, sitting up again. "I got my shrimpiness from _you_!"

"That Haruka," Risa growled. "I swear, I'm gonna march over there and give him a piece of my mind..."

"No, _I'll_ do it," Atsushi said grimly.

"No freaking WAY!" Aki shrieked. "How lame is that, having my _parents_ bully my crush's dad into letting me date her! Just butt out, I shouldn't have told you!"

"Aki-"

"I'm going to my room!"

Risa and Atsushi watched their son stomp up to his room. Then they looked at each other. "If I let you go alone," she said, "he'll make some dig about your height and then you'll jump on each other like angry cats and forget all about why you came."

"Well, _you're_ certainly not going by yourself, that guy's just waiting to get you alone in his clutches."

Risa grinned. "Together, then?"

Atsushi sighed. "Together," he agreed. Then he rolled his eyes. "Dang it, why'd that idiot Aki have for fall for _Fukagawa's_ daughter, of all people...?"

o.o.o.o.o

"Niisan, do you know where Mom and Daddy are?" Riku asked.

Aki looked up listlessly from the TV. "What?"

"They're not home yet," Takashi explained, coming to join his sister. "I'm hungry...Mom didn't even leave leftovers or a note or anything."

Aki looked over at the windows and realized, to his surprise, that it was nighttime. "Oh no...they can't have-?"

"Look, the car!" Riku suddenly exclaimed.

The kids watched as the car backed into the driveway, came to a stop, shut off, then expelled a couple of figures whose raised voices, though not the words, could be heard through the windows.

"Daddy's limping," Riku observed worriedly.

Takashi went to open the door, through which Risa and Atsushi soon came tumbling through.

"...Yeah, well how about something like, 'My brave hero,' or, 'You're such a wonderful husband,' or, 'Who needs that punk Haruka when I've got you, sweetie!' or something like that?"

"Fine, try this! 'My reckless idiot! You're such a hotheaded husband! Who has time for Haruka when I've got my hands full cleaning up your messes?'"

"What're you calling a mess? Mission objective accomplished, or did you _not_ notice that we totally-" Atsushi suddenly stopped short. "Oh. Hi, Aki."

"You didn't," Aki said tonelessly.

"Uh...we kind of did," his father admitted with a sheepish smile.

"Daddy!" Riku cried in horror. "What happened to your face?"

"Uh...nothing."

"Nothing?" Risa said indignantly. "You look like a car ran over you."

"Actually, he looks like someone punched him," Takashi corrected humbly.

"The other guy looks worse," Atsushi said, plopping down on the couch with a satisfied sigh. "Honey, go get me a couple of ice packs, will you?" he asked Riku, who ran to obey. "Risa, go warm up something, I'm starving."

"What am I, your maid?" she snapped.

Atsushi stretched out on the couch with a lazy smile. "Aw, come on, why else do you think I asked you marry me?"

"Dad," Aki hissed, "I'll never forgive you. I'm never talking to you again. I can't ever face Fukagawa-san again! I hate you!"

"Don't hate him, Aki," Risa said soothingly. "Haruka had it coming, anyway. His wife was angry when she found out what had happened between you and Haruhi-chan. Heh, she even complimented your father on Haruka's black eye."

"Aaaaarrrgghhh!" Aki fled to his room, unable to stand it anymore.

"Why's Niisan so mad?" Takashi wondered.

"Ah, he'll get over it when he gets hungry enough. Hey, Risa, if you're not gonna wait on me hand and foot, at least kiss me, will ya? I worked hard today, I deserve a reward."

"Well, fine, since you're begging me sooooo desperately..."

"Cut it out with the fish-face!"

"What, you don't like being kissed by a dead fish?"

"Ah, just forget it!"

"Oh, you're not escaping _that_ easily...!"

That was about the time when Takashi decided it would be a good idea to exit the room.

o.o.o.o.o

"Ôtani-kun!"

Aki froze in mortification at the sound of Haruhi's voice. He considered running away, but Haruhi caught up to him before he had made up his mind.

She looked elated. "Ôtani-kun, I'm so happy to see you!"

"Oh. ...You are?" After his idiot dad had beaten up hers? "Is your dad okay?"

"Hm? Oh, yes. He fell down the stairs last night while I was out, but he will be all right. Thank you for asking," she said warmly.

"Uh...sure." Fell down the stairs? Did she honestly believe that story? Oh well...her naïveté was kind of cute. "Um...so..."

They stared awkwardly at each other for a moment. "Oh!" she finally exclaimed. "Thank you so much for the flowers, they were really beautiful."

"Oh...no problem." He swallowed. They stared at each other some more.

"Ôtani-kun," she finally said shyly. "Did you know that, um...that my parents and I talked last night, and...well..." She drew in a deep breath. "Do you remember what you said, when you gave me the flowers? And the time before that?" she said in a rush.

"Huh? Uh, yeah," he mumbled, his face burning.

"Um...well...do you...still feel the same way?"

Aki felt his heart clench. "Yeah," he managed to say, then winced at the horrible squeakiness of his voice.

Haruhi gave a little gasp of what looked like relief. "Oh, I'm so glad! Um, Ôtani-kun - if you ever ask me the same question again, I will say yes this time."

Aki blinked. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? "Haruhi...you're saying that you...that if I asked you to go out with me...?"

"Yes!" Haruhi grabbed his hands and gave him the sweetest, shyest smile he had seen from her yet. That did it, there was no way he could escape this time.

He smiled. "Great." So...what, was he supposed to kiss her now? With her looming over him like that, looking so happily expectant? _'Argh! Thanks a lot, Dad!'_

o.o.o

Author's Notes: Not much backstory behind this fic. After reading the manga, I watched the last episode of the anime, heard the "We'll be together forever" line, and wondered what Risa and Ôtani's married life would be like. ^^ One amazing thing about this fic was that I got the idea at work, sat down immediately to hand-write it, and finished the whole draft that same night. The story flowed SO WELL. That hasn't happened very much lately, so it was refreshing.

For the kids, I stole a bunch of names from other anime/manga series, but they're not crossover characters. It's only the names that transferred, not the looks or personalities.

I swear, Ôtani is the easiest character I've ever written in my life. This is my first time working with him, and I think I got him down perfectly. (As opposed to people like Tomoe from Rurouni Kenshin, whom I'm _still_ getting wrong. ^^;)


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